Chapter 3: If you survive a disaster, you will definitely get a make-up
Vomiting a dead Gu from the mouth, pregnant with a baby in the belly?
Xu Fu frowned, trying to dig out some useful memories.

Unfortunately, the original body had a mediocre memory, and he might not be able to understand anything even if he read the book a hundred times. He also didn't like to read travel notes or study hard, and was determined to be a mute practicing sword.

The idea that time travelers have photographic memories is just a fantasy created by poor students!
Xu Fu said disappointedly: "Brother, please continue."

"Later, a dark and thin Taoist priest came to Gexian Village, claiming to be a disciple of Sanqing and a good friend of Zhang Caizhu and his brothers. He told Zhang Caizhu that this was a punishment from heaven. The young master's horoscope was pure yang, and if he wanted to resolve it, he had to find a woman with a yin horoscope to marry him in the afterlife. Otherwise, the wronged soul would be restless and kill everyone in the Zhang family."

"It's really a punishment from heaven. How can a mortal get rid of it by having a ghost marriage?" Xu Fu sneered, "It's a heresy. It doesn't sound like a punishment from heaven, but a man-made disaster."

"What does the troubles of the rich and powerful have to do with us poor people?"

"The young lady from the Fang family is also poor."

"Cheaper than grass and thinner than paper, adding the word 'poor' to it doesn't make you a human being." Cripple Jiang sneered, "I advise Mr. Mao not to interfere, just climb over the wall and eat chicken butts with your brother."

"I have already agreed to this matter. I cannot escape the cause and effect. Besides, I am already here..."

Xu Fu felt a toothache when she thought of that Pinxixi-like system. She hadn't even seen any sign of her earth-level magic weapon!
"Forget about the chicken butt. I'll treat you to spicy rabbit head. Please do me a favor."

"Just say it."

"Dig up the grave of the young master of the Zhang family and replace it with something else."

One man and one woman, one yin and one yang, this Taoist wanted to create two wrongful corpses. His plan was not small. She could guess with her toes that the death of young master Zhang was related to him.

Everyone will have to dig up graves in the end, so it’s better to strike first!
"No problem," Lame Jiang readily agreed, "What do you want to change it to?"

"Since you are seeking immortality and Taoism, then I will give you the one that suits you best." Xu Fu smiled slyly, "Zhuangzi said: Taoism is in shit and urine."

After saying this, he slid down the wall and walked back, just in time to see a little maid holding a food box hesitating at the gate of the courtyard.

"Are you here to deliver dinner?"

"Ah!" The maid was startled and stammered, "Yes, I'll bring you dinner."

"Then why don't you go in...what are you hiding for? Let me see."

Xu Fu stopped the man, opened the food box and took a look.

There was only plain noodles with a poached egg, covered with a layer of white flour that was not mixed evenly and melted.

Xu Fu: “…”

"No, the knockout drug here isn't mixed evenly," Xu Fu couldn't believe it. "Your badness is too obvious, isn't it?"

The maid wanted to cry but had no tears: "I, I'm new here, this is my first time and I have no experience."

Very good, the sadness of working social animals fills the air.

"You have completed your KPI, let's go."

Xu Fu took the food box with pity and entered the courtyard.

The maid breathed a sigh of relief, but suddenly she felt a chill behind her. When she turned around, before she could see clearly, a ball of blood-stained yellow paper covered her face. She struggled for a few times and then died. The little man on the yellow paper squirmed a few times and turned into a ball of black gas and drilled into the maid's mouth and nose.

The last ray of daylight was swallowed up, and the maid staggered to her feet and walked into the courtyard.

……

"The little immortal is back? This is..."

"Drug."

Xu Fu casually poured the noodles into a celadon vase beside him. Seeing Fang Hui'e's frightened eyes, he consoled her, "It's been cleaned up. The other party wanted to drug her. I'm afraid there will be something unusual during the wedding tonight."

Fang Hui'e shivered: "What's wrong?"

"The ceremony was held in the hall, and then he entered the coffin," Xu Fu replied calmly, "and the coffin was sealed with nails, and he was buried alive in the grave."

Fang Hui'e's legs went limp and she fell to the bedside in horror, "I, I..."

She bit her lip and knelt down and kowtowed: "Little Immortal, save me!"

I want to save you, too, but I don't have any spiritual energy or magic power right now. I only have four thunder talismans after copying all the disciples in the hall. Unless...

"Puppetry."

Xu Fu muttered to himself.

There is a magic spell in Taoism that uses the way of plants and trees to simulate human bodies, and supplemented by the eight characters of birth, it can create a lifelike and obedient fake person. Even if it is not plants, it can be done by using paper people or wooden sculptures to ignite spirits.

There are even more vicious ones, refining the dead to make puppets, but I——

I don’t know any of them!

In the Dharma Ending Age, true magic is long gone!
Her cheap master kept saying things like "If there is no inheritance, you can ask the heaven for the ordination certificate", "The Taoist wants to become an immortal", "I have become an immortal", and Xu Fu was so frightened that she notified the mental hospital and had the ordination certificate handed over to someone else and put him in.

When asked, he said "Develop religious undertakings scientifically, listen to X and follow X." His awareness was so high that even the Young Pioneer Xu felt ashamed of himself.

Besides, folk Taoist priests only have eloquence but no inheritance, so many of their magic spells cannot be used.

"Just follow the nails on the coffin. As long as you survive, someone will come to save you when you reach the grave," Xu Fu said. "If you really encounter danger, use the Thunder Spirit Talisman to kill all the harming people."

Fang Hui'e hesitated: "I understand, but..."

"Dong dong dong."

There was a knock on the door.

Xu Fu was alert: "Who?"

"Madam, have you finished eating the noodles? I'll take the food box back." The maid just now?
Just as Xu Fu was about to speak, three options popped up in front of him.

[Option A: Say "I haven't finished eating yet, you go first" Completion reward: Thunder Palm (Xuan-level upper-grade skill)]

[Option B: Open the door and hand the bowl to the maid. Completion reward: Bloodthirsty Knife (Yellow-level top-grade magic weapon)]

[Option C: Tell Fang Hui'e to open the door. Completion reward: Random attribute point +1]

Damn it, you idiot, you dare to let me choose?!

Xu Fu cursed in his heart.

The reward for option A last time has not arrived yet. It turns out that the bigger the pie you draw, the less likely you are to get it. Screw A, I’m going to choose B this time!

Xu Fu picked up the lunch box and opened the door.

"Take it away..."

Before she could say "thank you", the maid outside the door suddenly looked up.

In the remaining shadow of the candlelight, one could see the woman's eyes were bloodshot and her seven orifices were filled with black blood. The next moment, she grinned grimly and stretched out her hand to grab him!

Xu Fu was frightened and broke out in a cold sweat. In the moment of life and death, he unleashed his potential. He turned his head to avoid the palm strike that would destroy his forehead. With quick eyes and hands, he smashed the food box on the maid's head. Then, he kicked the maid in the stomach smoothly, forcing her to retreat five steps!

"Meeting is fate," Xu Fu steadied himself, the seven nails on his chest aching slightly, and he smiled slightly, "Daoyou, why don't you come out and have a cup of tea and talk? Why bother with violence?"

Damn, are you trying to launch a sneak attack when I'm not prepared?

If you dare to show your head, I will use lightning to strike you to death!

"Oh? I wonder who you are?"

The maid opened her mouth, but a weathered male voice came out.

"The Immortal Immortal's Mansion, the Taoist Mansion that has the same longevity as Heaven."

Xu Fu cleared his throat and raised his chin slightly.

"I am a hermit master who can restore youth. My magic is invincible. I don't want to see blood on the Lantern Festival. If you know what's good for you, leave now."

When you go out, you have to give yourself an identity.

"What a big mouth!" The puppet maid shook her body a few times as if it was falling apart, and sneered, "If you really have this ability, please teach me a thing or two! If not, I will sacrifice you as well!"

By the time he finished speaking, the man had already approached and threw a punch with powerful spiritual energy, with a force like a galaxy bursting its banks and a raging wave.

"Give me your life!" the puppet shouted angrily.

Damn, you’ve been bragging too much. This punch of mine will kill more than twenty people!

If the talisman alone can’t stop it, then try something big!
"The great thunder god of the capital sky, thunderbolts shake the void. Eight million thunder soldiers are scattered in Kongtong. Anyone who dares to rebel will not be tolerated by the Marshal's order. They will be taken to Kuigang and will be forever pure."

Xu Fu threw out the Thunder Talisman, pinched his hands together, hid his five fingers in armor, and shouted in desperation:
"Hurry up, like the Iron-faced Great God King Tieshashe!"

"boom--!!"

Talismans and incantations go hand in hand, and thunder roars.

Dozens of lightning bolts cut through the darkness, containing the wrath of thunder and the way of all things, striking down from the sky!
Not to mention the maid puppet, even the clothes were turned into ashes in the terrifying lightning.

Xu Fu himself was also shocked.

"I... I'm so awesome?"

Xu Fu looked at his hands and said proudly, "It's so awesome the first time I used them. Am I really a genius? This cultivation of immortality is as easy as pie!"

"Little Immortal Lord..."

The young lady from the Fang family approached. Xu Fuzheng was admiring the tiankeng he had blasted out. He turned around when he heard the sound: "What…"

"呲-"

Xu Fu's pupils suddenly shrank, and he looked down at the dagger that had pierced his abdomen: "You..."

[What a strong winter! The cool night makes me miss you so much~]

A cheerful reminder tone suddenly sounded.

[Option B mission has been completed, congratulations on obtaining the Bloodthirsty Knife (Yellow Grade Top Grade)]

"?"

Xu Fu's brain froze, but a few seconds later he suddenly realized something and became furious.

Damn, golden middle finger!

Being killed by the bonus attack also counts as my reward? Your positioning is too cool!
"Pfft-"

Fang Hui'e pulled out the dagger with force, and blood splattered on her cheek.

A blood-stained paper figure filled with sinister energy climbed onto her shoulder and grinned at Xu Fu.

...Shit, my house was robbed.

Xu Fu covered his wound and staggered to the ground.

(End of this chapter)