Chapter 311: Thoughts
The place he wanted to go, he didn't get to go after all. Li Siheng knew that not only today, but maybe in the future, there would be no chance again.

All the way back, neither of them spoke again.

The atmosphere was even more dead and silent than when we first arrived.

Li Siheng's expression was dull, but he drove at a steady speed and was more careful than before.

Bian Yue looked out the window. The trees along the road were covered with thick frost and snow, and their original appearance could not be seen clearly. The farm far away from people did not even have a trace of life.

Bian Yue thought that Li Siheng really did things perfectly.

In a place like this, even if Shen Jinci found me, it would be quite difficult for him to take me away.

The snow was even heavier at night. Bian Yue was lying in the bedroom and dozing off. Li Siheng pushed the door open and walked in with a bowl of warm porridge in his hand.

He placed the porridge in front of Bian Yue and squatted down, his expression showing concern. "Even if you are angry with me, there is no need to joke about your own body, right?"

Bian Yue opened her eyes and looked at the man in front of her with a gentle smile.

"This is my first time cooking porridge, and I don't know if it suits your taste, but you should eat more so that you have the strength to protect your child, right?"

Bian Yue looked at Li Siheng's sincere expression, she took the porridge from his hand and drank it without saying a word.

"What else do you want to eat?"

"no need."

Li Siheng smiled faintly, "Then go to bed early."

Bian Yue saw him stand up, as if he really intended to leave. She spoke again, her voice calmer: "I can't stay here forever, I want to leave."

She still refused to give up.

To this day, the only topic of conversation between the two of them is the word "leaving".

How could this not be considered another level of pathetic?

Li Siheng looked at the empty porridge in his hand, he laughed at himself and said softly: "At the beginning, I was really very sick. Bian Yue, you said I planned my own death. I admit that I did so, but under the circumstances at that time, I had no other choice."

His tone was suppressed and he said hoarsely, "When I learned about my illness, I really thought I was going to die. It was only when you reach that situation that you will really know what you care about. I have sacrificed a lot for the Li family, not just myself, but you as well. But Bian Yue, I was in a desperate situation at the time, and the only feeling I had was regret. At that time, I couldn't even convince myself what I had been working so hard for all these years for. In the end, I got nothing."

Bian Yue raised his eyebrows and looked at Li Siheng's back. He had his back to him and the light fell on him. Just like at many moments many years ago, he looked at his back like this.

But her state of mind is no longer the same as it was back then.

Bian Yue stared at him silently, with a calm expression between her eyebrows.

Li Siheng still didn't turn around. It seemed that he only had the courage to say these words when his back was facing Bian Yue.

He paused, and in the silence of the room, he continued, "So, I want to take a gamble, a chance to start over. In order to survive, I tried many methods, but those drugs produced rejection reactions in my body. Many times, I felt that life was worse than death, and the doctor also told me that maybe torturing myself like this would only hasten my death in the end."

"Bian Yue, everyone is trying to persuade me not to waste my efforts and not to die peacefully. My father even planned the successor of the Li family. He made Zhuang Jie Ning pregnant with the son of a branch of the Li family. From beginning to end, he never cared about my feelings. I went through the most difficult days alone. I only had one thought: as long as I was alive, I would come back to find you."

Li Siheng finally turned around slowly and looked at Bian Yue. There was a red crescent in his eyes, and the desolation and fragility were clearly visible. He smiled lightly, his tone trembling, "I used all means, I calculated everything, I planned for so long to keep you by my side, but now, you don't even smile at me, Bian Yue, at that time, the Bian family was defeated, you were in a desperate situation, and your life was hopeless, but you were still willing to smile at me. Why is it that now, you are so determined?"

Bian Yue frowned. She was silent for a long time. Finally, she spoke in a voice as light as a feather. She said, "Because 16-year-old Bian Yue really thought you could lead her out of the desperate situation, but now, my current desperate situation is caused by you. Li Siheng, you can't be so selfish. You have to go to great lengths to get what you want, but what about what I want? Should I be trampled under your feet as a matter of course?"

Li Siheng listened to Bian Yue's words and held the porcelain bowl tighter and tighter. The celadon bowl shattered in his hands, the fragments embedded in his flesh, and blood dripped down.

Bian Yue watched silently without saying a word.

Li Siheng sneered, turned and left, his back looking a little embarrassed.

This open and honest discussion ended in failure in the end.

How could Li Siheng, such a proud man, remain calm when faced with Bian Yue's cold words?

He must have felt extremely painful.

But there was no sign of it on his face, only a look of indifference.

Bian Yue heard the sound of the door closing.

She seemed to realize something, stood up and walked over, and when she turned the handle, it didn't move at all as expected.

Li Siheng trapped her in this room, and if nothing unexpected happens, he will remain trapped here forever.

Bian Yue, on the other hand, remained calm. She finally understood why Li Siheng had just said that to her.

He was betting that he would be soft-hearted, even if it was just a little bit, he would be able to accept it and continue to find ways to make himself accept him.

But her attitude was so resolute.

Li Siheng finally understood that Bian Yue would never look back, and she was stern and showed no mercy.

That's why now, his methods suddenly become tough.

Bian Yue is not the kind of person who would sit and wait for death. At this moment, she calmed down instead.

She stepped back, and the next moment, her eyes fell on the sheets on the bed.

When Bian Yue came back today, he remembered where he parked his car, which was not far from here. Bian Yue thought that even if he had no means of communication, at least he could leave first.

Bian Yue has known Li Siheng for so many years, and she doesn't dare to say that she completely understands him, but she also knows that even now, because of his feelings for her, he may not take action against the child for the time being.

But as time goes by, sooner or later he will change his mind and will not let her child go.

The calmness in Bian Yue's eyes gradually turned into determination.

She thought that she couldn't keep waiting for Shen Jinci to appear, she had to save herself.

The escape plan went extremely smoothly. The moment Bian Yue got into the car, she felt a sense of unreality and surprise.

The next moment, she did not delay any longer and resolutely started the car and headed out of the castle.